It certainly seemed be having an impact.  And the idea was continuing to grow.   We were averaging requests for 7,000 complaint-free purple bracelets a week.  We had shipped them to nine countries around the world.  The mail folder which our Office Manager placed on my desk each week had swelled to a sheaf of letters nearly an inch thick.  School teachers were telling me how encouraging their students to become conscious of their complaining had transformed classrooms.  Churches of various denominations were embracing this idea not only giving out “no-complaint” bracelets but beginning Complaint Free Wednesday night classes and creating Complaint Free Sunday School curricula.  People who were facing betrayal, poverty, life-threatening disease, job cuts, and even natural disasters were picking up the challenge to try and erase complaining from their lives.

            This thing had taken on a life of its own and it was thrilling to be a part of it.

            In the summer of 2006, we decided to create a “Summer Book club” at our church.  We would encourage everyone to read the same book and have classes and discussions about what we were reading. 

            Wanting to select a book that would truly have an impact, we first looked at what our people needed.  Many times, when couples came to me with issues threatening their relationships, I found that money was a contributing factor to their problems.  Couples and singles alike came to talk to me about being in debt, job uncertainty, and feeling financially overwhelmed.  After checking out several books on the subject, we selected “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity” by Edwene Gaines.  Her book gives clear, concise, powerful and measurable things one can do to begin to live a life of abundance.  Over 100 people purchased the book and I planned a five week series as well as classes for people to delve deeper and share their questions, ideas and insights.

            The second week of the series, I was in my home office writing my lesson when I had a moment of inspiration.  I called Marcia Dale, our Office Manager.

            I explained my idea to Marcia.  She listened patiently and then sighed, “Another doo-dad Sunday?” Marcia feigned exasperation but the truth is she loves it when we give out little trinkets at classes and services.  We’ve given out magnets, bookmarks, picture frames, pens and other knickknacks which support and reinforce what we’re learning. The “doo-dads,” as Marcia calls them, serve as a visual reminder long after the lesson is completed.

            “Why rubber bracelets?” She asked.  I explained that Gaines’ book, like many others, reminds us that it’s important to focus on what we want in our lives rather than putting our attention on what we don’t want.  “Thoughts held in mind produce after their kind,” Marcia said, echoing back something she’d heard hundreds of times.  “Exactly,” I said.  “And complaining is focusing on what we don’t want.  It’s talking about what’s wrong and what we focus our attention on expands.  So, we want to help people eradicate complaining from their lives and this will serve as a great reinforcement.”

            “Tell me again how rubber bracelets will do this,” Marcia said ambiguously. “We’ll give everyone a bracelet; you know, like the Livestrong bracelets but another color.  We’ll challenge them to put the bracelet on either arm and try to go 21 consecutive days without complaining.  If they catch themselves complaining, we’ll encourage them to move the bracelet to the other wrist and begin again.”  “Ooo….’sounds hard,” Marcia observed.  Then, looking for a loophole, she asked, “If they complain, can they start over the next day and just have a ‘free day’ complaining all they want for the rest of that day?”  “No,” I said, “they switch the bracelet and start over again at that moment.  The idea is to make us aware of when we complain so, maybe, we catch ourselves before we do it next time.”

            The phone was silent for a moment.  “Marcia?” I said checking to see if our call had been dropped. “I’m here,” she said flatly. “I’m just wondering if people can do this…heck I’m wondering if I can do this!”  “Me, too,” I said.  “Let’s give it a try.”  “Ok,” she said ruefully, “I’ll call some doo-dad places and see what I can find. Any particular color of bracelet?”  I thought a moment.  “No…what do you think?” I asked.  “How about purple,” she said, “it’s classy and to some people it represents transformation.  Besides you see yellow, orange and pink bracelets everywhere but not purple.”  “‘Sounds good,” I said. 

            Marcia found a company that sold purple rubber bracelets with the word “spirit” debossed in them and we agreed to order 500, more than twice what we needed—little did we know.    When Marcia told me about the bracelets I asked, ‘Why ‘spirit?’” “It stands for ‘school spirit’ I think,” she said. “They sell ‘em in all kinds of colors.  If your schools color is orange, you buy orange ‘spirit’ bracelets.  If your color is red, you buy red ‘spirit’ bracelets.  “Oh,” I sighed.  “So we can’t get bracelets that say something like, ‘no complaining’ on them?”  “We can,” she answered, “but on an order of 500 the cost is out of sight.  Besides, it’s just a doo-dad most people will throw in a drawer as soon as they get home.” 

            “How am I going to explain the word ‘spirit’ on them?” I wondered aloud. “Tell everybody it stands for “the spirit of change,” Marcia said answering my question for me. 

            The next Sunday, we gave out just over 250 bracelets but our entire stock of 500 was totally depleted right after service from people wanting them for their offices, classes, friends, teams and social groups.  That day, in addition to explaining how the challenge works, I invited everyone to imagine what their lives would be like without the “ear pollution” of complaints.  I could feel a mixture of excitement and trepidation in the room.  I told them that I was accepting my own challenge and that, no matter how long it takes, I was going to make it 21 consecutive days without complaining.  “21 days,” I affirmed, “with no complaining, criticizing or gossiping.”

            “Join me.  If it takes three months or three years,” I said, “your life will be greatly improved.  Your relationships will be greatly improved.  If you wear your bracelet out, we’ll give you another one.  Stay with it.”

            Complaining is talking about things you do not want rather than what you do want.  We use our words to focus on things that are not as we would like.  Our words indicate what we are thinking and our thoughts create our lives.  Thousands of great philosophers and teachers have told us that our lives are but a reflection of our thoughts:

“As thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee.” -Jesus, Matthew 8:13

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it” -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.” - Buddha “

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” -James Allen

“We become what we think about.” -Earl Nightingale

“The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.” -Charles Darwin

Question: Why are we Masters of our fate, the captains of our souls? Because we have the power to control our thoughts.-Alfred A. Montapert

            After sharing the purple bracelets and inviting everyone to commit to trying to go 21 consecutive days complaint-free, I shared a story: 

            “When I was a boy,” I said, “I used to stand by the lake and throw rocks as far as I could out into the water.  After the initial splash, I would watch as the ripples from the impact traveled out in every direction until they lapped the shores of the cove on every side. Together, we can create a ripple; right here, right now, in this small community we can begin something that can touch and transform the world.”  Their tentative energy began to shift to enthusiasm.

            “Let’s make these purple bracelets free to anyone who asks for them” I said. “Together, we’ll make Kansas City, Missouri the first ‘Complaint-Free’ city in the United states!”  Then I added, “And considering the way the Royals have played this year, we’ve got a hard road ahead of us.” 

            The room fell silent.  Realizing my complaint, I moved my bracelet from my right wrist to my left for the first time; but certainly not the last.

            People from our community began to hear about the purple bracelets.  We ordered another 500 and they were committed before they arrived.  Sensing something important was unfolding, I called the Kansas City Star to ask who at their paper might be interested in a story like this.  They referred me to Helen Gray so I sent her an email explaining what was happening.

            The first day, my hands got tired switching the bracelet from wrist to wrist.  I was complaining all the time.  I wanted to call it quits but everyone at church was watching me.  After the first week, I made it switching my bracelet only about 5 times in one day.  The next day, I was back up to 12 times.  I never thought of myself as a person who complained but I was finding out otherwise.  As I was struggling with not complaining, criticizing or gossiping, I was simultaneously discouraged and glad that I’d not heard back from Ms. Gray at the Star.  Although I felt this was a good idea, I certainly didn’t feel as if I was excelling at the experiment and did not want to have to tell the reporter, “Yes, I’m the minister who challenged everyone to do this.”  And, “Me??  Well, after two weeks of really trying I’ve almost made six hours.”

            But I stayed with it.  Finally, after nearly a month I had a string of three days going. Every Sunday my congregation would look to see which arm the bracelet was on.  I could see that many of them had taken off their bracelets.  But many were staying with it.  This inspired me tremendously.  Finally, I wrote down a goal to “go 21 consecutive days complaint-free by September 31^st. ”  I read this goal three times each morning and three times each night.  Slowly I began to make progress.

            I found that I could do very well around some people but not so well around others.  Sadly, I realized that my relationships with some people I considered good friends centered on expressing our dissatisfaction about whatever we were talking about.  I began to avoid them. I felt guilty at first but I noticed that my bracelet stayed put.  More importantly, I really found myself beginning to feel happier. 

            After more than a month, Ms. Gray from the Kansas City Star emailed to say she’d been on vacation.  She said she found the idea intriguing and wanted to write about our complaint free bracelets.  As she was preparing the article, I finally completed my 21 days.

            I again confirmed with my church Board that we would give bracelets free to anyone who wanted them.  “We can help raise the consciousness of the world,” we agreed.  Little did we know, other papers would pick up the story from the Kansas City Star.  Within weeks, we had requests for nearly 9,000 purple bracelets.  We bought every purple bracelet our supplier had and ordered more.  Volunteers stepped forward to automate our web site so that bracelet requests would be taken directly from the web site generating labels which our Fulfillment Team would use to package the bracelets.  We acquired the web site address TheComplaintFreeChurch.org  and more and more papers picked up the story followed by television.  

            The idea was becoming bigger than just our church in Kansas City.  A catholic diocese requested 2,000 purple bracelets for everyone in their churches and schools.  Other denominations were adopting this and it became a genuine worldwide phenomenon.  Sensing that our “ripples in a pond” idea was actually going to make around the planet, we purchased the web site address “AComplaintFreeWorld.Org. 

            In time, we created not only a Data Entry Team but also a Fulfillment Team, Supplies Team and a Shipping Team.  All staffed 100% by volunteers. 

            Now, as I write this today we are excited that NBC television is sending out a crew to spend three days with us and create a story for “The Today Show.”  The idea just keeps expanding, it keeps getting bigger.  And the best part is we’ve now had over twenty people make it 21 consecutive complaint free days (the average person who really gives it there best makes it in about five months).

            Anthropologist Margaret Mead once wrote that we should “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”  This ripple continues to spread.